Sunday, July 3, 2011

july third

My dog died at 10:20pm yesterday.



I feel awful for crying about this. Guilty is actually more accurate. I have gone years without crying. From Summer 2009 to Spring 2011 I cant recall crying once.
I cried over the loss of a relationship and then once more over the humiliation of Lukas.
Between these times multiple family members died and I lost a cat.



Usually I only allow myself to cry if I have ran long enough and hard enough to be in physical pain. I could tell you I didn't run this time because I have matured past the stage of self mutilation. But I haven't and doubt I will. The real reason is that Blu wouldn't approve.

I cared for that dog more than I will care for a majority of the people I am doomed to encounter.
This ordeal has just conditioned me to loathe people more.

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